Personal development is a journey, not a destination. None of us will ever wholly override the programs and strategies we learned as children, but we can develop a higher level of awareness around them. No matter how “evolved” we become, we will continue to meet circumstances that touch old wounds and trigger old strategies. And that's OK. We're never “done” growing – every new day is a new opportunity to better understand how we tick.
Now that you know the four core strategies, and you’ve spent some time exploring how each shows up for you, I will offer some “experiments” to try around each one. These are bound to feel uncomfortable — breaking old patterns can be tough! – but you can prepare yourself to thrive on the challenge. Dive into the discomfort and allow yourself to go even deeper into the source of what’s there.
Controllers: Go on an “opinion fast.” Don’t share your point of view even when you’re asked for it. Get silent. Avoid being right, and admit it when you’re wrong.
Distractors: Meditate! Start doing five-minute focus sessions each day where you simply bring your attention to your breathing. Work your way up to 20 minutes (and beyond!)
Isolators: Get out there! Share, be vulnerable, meet new people, participate in groups online and in real life.
Pleasers: Set your default answer to “no” and ask for 24 hours to really consider someone's request, before saying “yes.”
I hope this is helpful to you. If you haven’t already, I encourage you to read HeatherAsh Amara’s book Warrior Goddess Training for even more useful information around strategies and programs.