Michelle Villalobos

The Superstar Scoop: How To Be A Great Coach And Mentor

We mentors, coaches, and “experts” do what we do because we want to help people. In this post, I share several strategies to help you better serve your clients so they can have better results!

Keep reading or watch the video below for more detailed content.

The overarching theme here is to empower your clients – helping them lift themselves up and find their own answers, rather than always looking to you to provide the solutions. 

A quick story to explain what I mean…

When I first started consulting and coaching, almost 15 years ago, I didn’t just want to help people, I wanted to (and thought I could) be the “hero,” which meant giving clients what they wanted, when they wanted it, and – of course – having all of the answers all of the time. Perhaps you can already see – this was a recipe for disaster

Aside from the fact that this was coming from a place of ego, lack of self-worth, and seeking external validation, it also felt stressful – because, of course, I didn’t have all of the answers, all of the time. 

Furthermore, this dynamic disempowered them. Instead of teaching my clients to fish, I was teaching them to call me every time they were hungry – which also led to me resenting their “neediness” (and projecting the idea of “neediness” onto them – when I was the one who created the dynamic!!)  

Since then, I have spent the last 7 years studying and learning how to lead and empower clients to create sustainable success. 

Here are a few of the key concepts and strategies I learned and developed along the way.  

#1. Everyone Is Already Okay 

In the beginning, when I was struggling, the problem was that I was seeing my clients as fundamentally broken – and needing me to “fix” them. 

By shifting my perspective to one in which my clients are already whole, complete and perfect, and simply seeking a guide, a helper, a or a mentor – not a hero or a savior – I was able to support them more powerfully, and they were able to relate to themselves more powerfully too. Incidentally, the work also became a lot more enjoyable.

When you start from the premise that your clients (indeed, everyone) is already okay, and don’t need you to save them, your client relationships will be more effective, and also more fun!  

#2 The Upward Spiral  

The upward spiral is a symbol to show a constant unfolding of who your client is becoming and that in every scenario where they're struggling, they have the opportunity to pull themselves up higher. 

Each challenge they face is not a problem, or a breakdown, or something to fix, but rather an opportunity for them to move up and up and up towards their highest self.

When we do the “thing,” whatever it is, for them, we take away their opportunity to evolve and grow. 

#3 Feel All The Feelings

When I started out, and clients were feeling “badly,” then that reflected poorly on me, and, of course, I wanted to overcome these feelings and help them get to “good” feelings instead. 

What I've learned, however, is that these  “bad feelings” are valuable indicators and an important part of the transformation process. 

Discomfort is a source of opportunity, possibility, and empowerment. When we feel discomfort, and we don't run away from it or try to “quick fix” it, there is always an opportunity for growth, expansion, and new awareness. 

#4 Ask Great Questions 

It can be tempting to provide quick answers to clients. But I’ve found – again and again – that it’s way more effective and empowering to ask really great questions. Probing, thoughtful questions help people dig deeper into their own truth, self-awareness, and self-reliance. 

I once heard Tony Robbins say “The quality of your life is determined by the quality of the questions you are asking yourself.” 

Powerful questions lead to powerful insights and solutions. 

#5 Raise The Bar

Instead of dropping to the current level of consciousness of a client – especially one who is struggling – I invite you to instead call them to a higher standard. 

One of my mentors did this with me, as I was trying to transform my life – but not showing up fully to the process. He finally told me that until and unless I committed to meditating every day, he was no longer interested in getting on calls and strategizing with me. He said “The strategy is nothing. Your mindset is everything. When you’re ready to show up for that, we can talk.” 

So I did. And he was right. 

When people have an incentive to show up in a bigger way for themselves, everything transforms, naturally. By raising the bar and requiring higher standards, we can further help our clients elevate, evolve and become more empowered. 

#6 Watch Your Language

“Words create world.”

When we say things like “I can't,” “I'm not good enough,” or “I can't afford this,” we are creating that reality. We are not just speaking words but also listening to them and being further programmed by them. 

In essence, we’re hypnotizing ourselves through our own language. So, one of the most valuable things we can do as a coach is to listen deeply to the words someone is using and help them to become aware of the beliefs underneath their language. 

We can challenge their assumptions and beliefs, and invite them to create new, more empowering ones, and – in turn – a new reality. “Perhaps it really IS possible to do what I love AND make money doing it!” That belief must be installed before their reality can easily and consistently reflect it. 

Mindful, intentional language is one way to cultivate and support new beliefs. 


I hope these strategies were helpful for you!! 

If you're looking to build or grow your expert business, let's connect! Book a free chat with me to discover more at www.SuperstarDiscoveryCall.com


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